Friday, October 1, 2010

Surviving the Nicaraguan Glee Club, Vol. 2

It took me so long to actually put my mind to it, and start writing this. In fact, as I type this, it's 7PM Thursday, and I have not yet watched Survivor. But I will, I promise. Unfortunately, I've reacquainted myself with Photoshop, and am very sick, and am watching Law and Order: SVU - a lethal combination sapping any and all productivity. But I digress (and therefore procrastinate further). I made a promise to rein this in every Thursday, and I keep promises, homies. (The "word up, yo G!" is silent, but implied)

So, here we go!

Surviving the Nicaraguan Glee Club, vol. 2.
 clicky down there for the rest!

Glee: Season 2, Episode 2: Britney F'kn Spears

I was far more excited for this episode than last year's Power of Madonna. Not only was Britney Spears a bigger part of my life than Madonna, but FINALLY the show would give some more screen time to my favorite dumb bitch, Brittany. We learn that Britt's name is Brittany S. Pierce, which she thinks is really close to Britney Spears, so it's like she's been in her shadow her whole life, which I lol'd at. The best moment was Santana's "Leave Brittany alone!" It got a terrible, terrible laugh out of me.

So Emma's going out with Uncle Jesse John Stamos, playing a dentist, and the Glee clubbers all have bad teeth so they need to go see him. Apparently, he's the only dentist in the world that doesn't just freeze you with a needle but actually puts you under with gas (I have just had a 4-part root canal THAT ISN'T FINISHED YET, and I can tell you - I have been awake for every moment). This leads to one of the best plot devices they've used on the show: Hallucinating about Britney Spears while under. Brittany performed I'm a Slave For You, and her voice isn't terrible! Also it was super obvs that she used to be a backup dancer. Chicks got some moves on her. Anyway, after her hallucination shes all confident, and even says she realizes she's more talented than everyone. Some more serious LOLing there. The best part about Brittany is how everything is monotone with her, completely deadpan. Makes it 100 times funnier.

Her and Santana have a co-hallucination and re-enact Me Against the Music, Rachel does Hit Me Baby One More Time (and it was like literally shot-for-shot of the original video I remember from my Youth), Artie hallucinates Stronger, and then they all sing Toxic at an assembly. There's drama with Mr Schue and his ex-wife and Emma and overall, I don't care. I am SO over Mr. Schue, it's not even funny. Also, Rachel starts dressing like BSpears and Finn gets uncomfortable, then he gets back on the football team and Rachel gets uncomfortable, and overall THEY MAKE NO SENSE TOGETHER, so I'm over that, as well.

The best part of the little hallucinations? Ms. Spears herself made a cameo in each of them! It was awesome. The show really got back in stride. A lot of people are te
aring this episode apart, and I found this hilarious comment on a message board -

"This episode was HORRIBLE! I am no prude but it was way too hypersexual for the 8pm timeslot."

OHMYGOD, I'M SO SORRY!!! I didn't realize I was wearing pants and not a dress! And that I voted in the last election! And that I have a job and support myself! And that I'm not married at 21 with a kid or two running around!

... it's 2010, idiots.

Next week looks like it will be good, it's religious and I can deal as long as it's not preachy. If it's preachy... well, you all know how I feel about having religion shoved down my throat. YouTube some George Carlin stuff on the subject, and that's how I feel. But! The songs they're doing are fabulous, and I AM SO WORRIED ABOUT KURT'S DAD!! But we shall see what transpires.

Moving right along....

Survivor: Nicaragua Season 21, Episode 3

SO,  a quick refresher of who's all there:


Okay! That was as of the end of episode 2, now, moving right along!

Right off the bat I'm reminded of how hideous-sounding the name Naonka is. So bad. Anyway, we start off back at LaFlor (the younger tribe) after their first tribal council, where they voted off Shannon. Everyone's talking about how Jeff had a good point about how they didn't work together and there was too much animosity, and maybe, "It'd be cool if we like, united now". It was like watching an after-school special. It was completely fake-sounding, from all of them. Naonka called out just how fake it was (in an interview, not in front of them, unfortunately, that would've been golden.) On the subject of Laflor, just some quick thoughts there:

  • Jud uses the word "bro" unironically, like it's actually a legitimate part of his vocabulary. He also says that he wants people to keep him around "not just because I'm funny" but also for "my spirit, my mentality"... I'd like to know what planet CBS found this guy on.
  • Why is Kelly Purple's hair sill purple!? I know that as of that taping, they'd only been there a week, but all that time in the salt water would absolutely wreak havoc on most dye. My tap water kills my blue dye in 2-3 showers, so I am baffled by this. 

Now, moving along to the older tribe. They follow some monkeys to fruit... not the most exciting stuff. I think that Marty's hatred of Jimmy J. is actually rooted in a lot of jealousy. But yea, really doesn't like him, and wants him gone. Dan is getting more stiff, sore, and all-around useless every day, and is failing really hard and trying to hide it. Marty tells the whole tribe about the hidden immunity idol he and Jill found (on the last episode) and says they should use it, as a tribe. Most people (especially Jimmy T) think this makes Marty a great guy, best interests of the tribe in mind, etc. - except Tyrone. Tyrone is easily the smartest person in this game, wary of everyone. Otherwise, not much going on at the Espada camp.

Challenge time! For immunity and reward - the reward is a "Survivor garden," which is fruits, seeds, spices, etc. he challenge itself involved getting beanbags on to barrels. It was very back-and-forth as to which team was in the lead, and finally - LaFlor, the younger tribe, wins immunity and reward. Boom. So, Kelly B. (LEG LEG LEG LEG LEG) and Naonka grab the fruit basket, and they both see a piece of paper in it, which Kelly B., having found a similar paper with Alina, knows is a clue to a hidden immunity idol. They arrive back at camp, and Naonka actually fucking shoves Kelly B., pushes her down, they have a small scuffle, and Naonka get the clue. Best part? This happened in front of everyone. Naonka is crazy, and although her voice goes right though me, she's entertaining to have around.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch camp Espada, they only have the afternoon to decide who they want to vote out. Marty, being his paranoid self, and obviously desiring to be the alpha male, is gunning for Jimmy J. He;s trying to get some people on board. Jimmy T. was an easy one, because he hates "Coach" just as much. If Marty is paranoid, then Jimmy T. has delusions of grandeur, 'cause he seems to think he has a bunch of wasted potential and leadership abilities - LOL YEAH FUCKING RIGHT. Anyway, Marty knows Jill will do whatever he said, the other girls may be a bit of a problem but should be able to be swayed, and Dan is concerned he's getting the boot so he'll vote however, too. Tyrone says he is going to do what he thinks needs to be done (he wants to get rid of Dan, who's getting weaker daily).

They headed off to tribal council. As usual, Jeff asked a lot of questions, got a dialogue going, so to speak. Jimmy T. kept talking and talking, more about his unused leadership skills and such, I kind of zoned out to ignore it. Jeff asked Tyrone what he thought of that, and Tyrone said (in a completely calm, neutral voice) "His leadership skills? I find that interesting..." and I LOL'd a whole bunch. Marty said he wanted the game to really start (where does he think he's been the past 9 days?), and attention was brought to Dan, being all sluggish and such. Jeff asked each of them if they were a weak player, and they all said no, except Jimmy J. Overall, the tribal council was far more boring than last week's, lol.

So they vote. The third person voted out of Survivor: Nicaragua is Jimmy J.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! It broke my heart a little.


That being said, I'm now Team Tyrone all the way. We'll see what next week brings.

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