Surviving the Nicaraguan Glee Club, Vol. 5, Part 2: A double dose of Survivor.

Procrastination is a terrible thing that is reserved mainly for school kids and students and their studying, paper-writing, and projects. I am not a student; I can't procrastinate at work, or I don't get paid. But I am a lazy, lazy individual, and sadly, this particular column has become my thing to put off, my, "I'll do it later," my "there are more pressing matters at hand than a blog about Survivor!" But, I made a commitment to see this through, and I'm already two weeks behind, and it's Monday, and Survivor's on Wednesday, and... Jeebus cripes, I've gotta get this done!

EDIT: Didn't finish til Wednesday... oops.

Now, this is where we left things...

Survivor: Nicaragua episode 6 (hit the jump for the rest!)

Episode 6 of Survivor was shaping up from the start to be more interesting than the previous five offerings. The first challenge was to be for reward; however, it would be the only challenge, as there was no immunity to be won - this week, kiddies, both tribes are going to Tribal Council *cue ominous noise* 

Backtracking ever-so-slightly, there was going to be immunity: individual immunity, which is far more exciting than tribal immunity any day. Each tribe would face their tribemates, head-to-head, in a challenge, The winner from each tribe would be safe at Tribal Council, and they would face off against each other for the reward - a feast of kabobs and other delicious everythings, which they would eat after their tribal council - in front of the other tribe. BURN!

The challenge involved digging rings (not like, figner-rings, they were much larger) out of the sand with a paddle, chucking them over your shoulder and in to a container that was attached to you. This compeition was infinitely more interesting to watch than any of the ones they'd played previously, because head-to-head competition is just so much more intense. I was totally hooked, when I usually one out during challenges, so it made me reeeeeally look forward to the merge. The winners were Jill for LaFlor and Holly for Espada. So, two members of the former Older Tribe had secured themselves for the next 3 days in Nicaragua.

They faced off in a ringtoss and Jill won reward for LaFlor!

Now came the plotting and the decisions. To be totally honest; I remember very little since this was now two weeks ago. I do know that at LaFlor, Marty was trying to convince Fabio (Jud now exclusively goes by that, lol) to listen to him; to allow him to guide him, etc. And Fabio was totally buying it. Anyway, Brenda and Sash decided to split the votes, 3 for Marty, 3 for Kelly B. (LEEEEEGGGG). They were telling Marty such, and telling him the other votes would be for Jane - who was in no way a target. (LOVE JANE.). The hope was that once the votes were split, Marty would use the Immunity Idol, and they'd vote out Kelly B., and though Marty would still be around at least he wouldn't have that immunity idol anymore.

Over at Espada, the youngins were figuring that Yve was a threat because she hadn't aligned with them and was in physically better condition than Dan, who is still literally falling apart, btw. They were having a tough time deciding which one to get rid of, but Yve's campaigning kept making them more and more nervous.

So, we move on to Tribal Council #1: LaFlor.

I'm a terrible person and can't remember much of what went on, other than Brenda said Jane should be worried about Jill and Marty, and Marty was basically all, "WTF!?" So, the votes happened - Jill and Marty voted for Brenda (and Marty likened her to a bunch of snakes LOL black mambo, etc), and the other votes were split 3 for Kelly B., 3 for Marty. I'm fairly certain Kelly B. was shocked. Marty decided NOT to use the Hidden Immunity Idol, which was a risky move considering they had to do a tiebreaker; but I guess he realized the number were with him - he and Jill would be voting for Kelly B. anyway, and he must've figured she'd been Brenda's actual target. Sure enough, the 6th person voted out of Survivor: Nicaragua, was Kelly "Fake Leg" B. Totally blindsided.

NOW THEY FEAST! ... and listen in on Tribal Council #2: Espada

They talked about Dan's leg and how he was a liability in challenges (ya think?), and then Dan called Yve out and said she was arrogant, and Yve was all, "WTF?!" and she tried to defend herself a lot and it backfired miserably, and when all was said and done, Yve was the 7th person voted out of Survivor: Nicaragua. It wasn't an interesting Tribal at all, though I did enjoy watching them squirm as LaFlor munched on their feast just a few feet away... not that's what I call torture and hardship.

Keeping the ball rolling here...

Survivor: Nicaragua episode 7

Going in to this episode, things looked like this:

First of all, in the recap, Jeff said that each group of youngins picked up a "feisty, older mom" ... oh dear. As I've said before, Jeff must sleep on piles of money every night to cope with how much his job sucks. Also, they're something like 15 days in, and someone says, "What a day!" to which Naonka replied, "13 left!"

... 15 + 13 = ...28.

Survivor = 39 days.

39-28 = 11.

Something's not quite right about that... but moving right along.

BONUS VIDEO: Stumbleupon lead me to this last night and I laughed SO HARD, and it's so appropriate for this.

/interlude. Back at LaFlor, Marty was being dramatic. He was calling out Jane, and Jane just kind of laughed and walked away, which I liked. She didn't try to lie and get defensive, but she also didn't stick to her guns - she basically did a half-cop-out, which is what I would've done aha.

The reward challenge was actuallt pretty fun and entertaining; basically, they had to run down a ramp, jump in the air, and throw a ball. They land in water. There's a perch in the water with a member of the other tribe acting as a goalie, and you basically have to score. The reward? A Nicaraguan farm experience; horseback riding, a feast, milking a cow. Fabio was LaFlor's goalie, and Chase was Espada's.

It was entertaining to watch because everyone tried to score one at a time. These challenges are just so much easier to follow, because they're so to-the-point and you don't have to look 10 places at once to know what's going on. They scored back and forth for a while, so it was fun. THE BEST PART: Dan's "jump"... I'm trying to find video of it. EDIT: I can't. Basically, he's old as hell and has a bad knee, so he "ran" up to the platform, threw the ball (which you aren;t supposed to do til you're airborne) and "jumped"... I can't even describe how bad it was. Fabio peed in the water; gross hilarity ensued. It was a good challenge. When all was said and done, Espada wins reward!

We watched them ride horses; Chace talks about how his father died and they always rode horses so it was special for him. Naonka is a city-slicker and can't milk cows, Holly was shaking over food, Naonka was literally crying when they were eating, and know what? I didn't laugh and didn't judge, because I totally get it. I get cranky and cry and basically stop functioning when I'm hungry, I give them a lot of credit, I could never do Survivor. Also even though it was a nice moment, Naonka was talking smack about Alina in her interview. SURPRISE TWIST: Naonka is growing on me, a lot. I would hate her guts if I were playing Survivor, but overall I get a kick out of her.

Jane went fishing and sneaked off in to the woods to cook a big one for herself. Good for her!

Now, to the immunity challenge. I enjoyed this one a lot, actually. It's kind of hard to explain, so - basically, there's this tower thing with different levels that 2 tribemembers stand on. It's got ramps that they roll cannonballs down. The direction, angle, etc. of the ramps is controlled by the other tribemembers, who pull them with ropes. The 2 people on the tower direct their teammates where to aim the ramps. Their targets are 5 tiles placed at different distances from the tower, the goal is to break all 5 before the other tribe.

PurpleKelly and Brenda were on the tower for LaFlor, and Alina and Benry for Espada. Everyone else was rope-pulling. Espada worked together REALLY well and basically blew the challenge out of the water. Brenda and PurpleKelly SUCKED for LaFlor, their tribemates were even talking back to them. Plus PurpleKelly looked like she wasn't really doing anything. The two girls were incessantly irritating. So, when all was said and done, Espada wins immunity!

So, making our way back to LaFlor for the strategising, lol@ Jane "I want the cake and I wanna eat it too!"

There's much debate over what to do, since Marty still has the f$#%ing immunity idol. They don't know whether to flush it out and vote Jill out, or just flat-out ask Marty for the idol in exchange for "safety" and vote him out anyway... well, they do indeed ask him for the idol. HE ACTUALLY GAVE THE IMMUNITY IDOL TO SASH. What I'd like to know is, WTF was going through his head? Moving right along.

Tribal council:

The usual chit-chat with Jeff trying to start shit, the revelation that Marty gave the immunity idol to Sash, the admission that it was probably a bad move (no shit, Sherlock), and the realization that Fabio actually knows who Freud is(was)!? Really!? Now, my boyfriend is smart as a whip (you've read my blog; you know I have no tolerance for stupidity and wouldn't be with him if he weren't sharp as a tack), and he isn't even aware of Freud... so, way to go, Fabio. You surprised me! Marty talks way too much, by the way. Anyway, the votes were cast; a couple of people did indeed vote for Marty, but the second week running - he dodged an epic fucking bullet, and Jill became the 8th person voted out of Survivor: Nicaragua.

Next week is the merge! Although I feel like there are still waaaay too many people to merge, I can't help but be excited. Individual challenges, here we come!