Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Screw resolutions, how about some rules for 2011?

I seriously suck at making New Year resolutions, for a number of reasons. The first being that I suck so, so much as sticking to anything, the second being that - I really don't see the point. It's only a new year because the calendar says so. It really depends on where you start counting from; my birthday was last week, I could count from there. What's happening right now may officially be "2011", but it's also "the year I was 22". The last day of 2010 was also "the year I was 22". Y'know what I mean? My point is, it's not like anything changes just because the days rolled over. I woke up and went to work Saturday morning, on New Year's Day, and it was just the same as Wednesday when I went to work in the morning.

And I went on a tangent. BACK ON TOPIC.

NYE and the days preceding and following it, #RulesFor2011 was trending on Twitter. I like that idea! So in that vein, instead of resolutions, here's some "Rules" for this New Year.

By rules, I pretty much mean wishes.

Rules to Follow in 2011
(or, Brittani's Wish-List )
Volume 1 of...? I don't know yet.

Using odd terms of endearment with strangers:

One time, I went to the movies. A girl who was most definitely younger than me served me my popcorn. Throughout our transaction, she called me "Hun" about six times. It actually made me uncomfortable, it was so weird.

This is one 'term of endearment' that I've always used as an enforcer to something snarky I'm saying to dumb girls, like, "Sorry hun, you have no friends." Or, "You're not so innocent yourself, hun." When used by someone under the age of 50, this is its usual connotation.

On the other hand, if you found yourself grabbing a coffee at Tims*, that nice, middle-aged lady calling you "Hun" does not seem even a little out of place.

I waited on a customer the other day who called me "honey" a half-dozen times. I checked the birthdate on her account: 1987. I was born in '88... does not compute. Do I look 12? I'm a 22-year-old woman. I think there should be an age gap on using terms like, "hun", "honey", "sweetie" and "darlin'" on near-strangers. I admit I am guilty of referring to little boys as "bud". I've called the occasional little girl "sweetie". But if they look like they're anywhere near junior-high-aged (middle school, for my foreign friends), it doesn't happen.

So -
1. If you're 50 or older, you can call anyone 35 and younger or 65 and older by these terms.
2. If under 40-50, the person must be 25 or younger.
3. If you're under 40 but older than 30, save it for kids and teens.
4. If you're under 30 - they best damn well be children or they're going to look at you like you have 10 heads.

*as a Canadian, Tims is our go-to, some people prefer Starbucks but I like to keep it home-grown

Stop calling people "faves"... and while we're on that topic:

In all fairness, I know a few people who I genuinely like that do this, and if you're reading this: no need to go on any kind of rampage on Twitter or FB, using the word "fave" 600 times to annoy me - because it's not that bad. Plus, you're better than that : ) It's the people who use this term like 346856809580954 times a day that irritate me. And when they spell it "fav"... *shudder*.

But in all honesty, I could live with it if no one followed this rule, but something that I REALLY wish people would take to heart:


I've been around the internet a LONG time, and other than acronyms like "lol", "lmao", "wtf" and lately worse ones I've picked up on such as "td, tn," and "tmr", I've always typed properly. Not necessarily proper punctuation and capitalization, but no spelling errors and very few grammatical. And you know what? I type just as fast, if not faster, than people who insist on "typing lik dis n makin evrythin shorter u no". It really, really makes you look uneducated. I'm a simple high-school graduate; no post-secondary, and yet I appear to have a better grasp on the English language than you.

My problem with "ttc" is its uselessness.
You could say, "text me".
Too long? Just say, "text".
Still too long? I'll even bite my tongue and keep my comments to myself at "txt".
"TTC"? SAMEAMOUNTOFLETTERS. And 100% unnecessary - if you want someone to text you, chances are - they're going to understand that you mean communicate them via short message on their cellular telephone, thus rendering pointless (and perhaps redundant?) the "-tc" part of "ttc" - "the cell". WE KNOW.

Please, just stop.

Pot, meet Kettle. Guess what? You're both black:

University students are allowed to complain incessantly about school and assignments and projects and exams on social networking sites*, yet I am not allowed to complain about work or anything, for whatever reason, without someone throwing a bitch fit.

Jersey Shore = mindless entertainment. Sure, I get that.
...just what do you think your "fights" that you all watch and have parties for are? You think UFC is high-brow, intellectual, and engaging?
I don't judge your UFC nights, let me watch Jersey Shore without calling me out on it.

Also, guys who sleep with a lot of girls are sluts, just like girls who sleep with a lot of guys are.
I dislike sluts of all genders, so I just thought I'd throw that in there, while we're on the subject of double standards.

I could think of a million different example applying to my own life, but the moral of this one, to everyone is:
Think before you speak.

*I should note that this doesn't bother me in the least, oddly enough. I understand the need to vent.

Learn to use the "hide posts from this person" on Facebook:

It's an invaluable tool. No need to delete someone who annoys you, just hide their posts! They won't show up in your newsfeed. I have about 60 people on this feature; about 30 are annoying, the other 30 are hidden so I don't have to bite my tongue (fingers?) every time I want to reply to them. It's really helpful for not being mean. I make it a point to never be mean on Facebook (at least, not unless someone says something to me, first, on my profile). Let everyone have their own little piece of Facebook where they feel comfortable. I have a temper and can easily go off on things, so hiding people I'm likely to try and chew out makes me at least look like the bigger person in the long run.

So this rule: learn to customize your Facebook and Twitter, it might make you a nicer person.

Quit going to pet stores and help save a furry life:

How about getting that new furbaby you were thinking about from somewhere other than a pet store? The SPCA is over-run; animals are getting euthanized left right and center, why would you shell out $500 for a puppy at the store? I know not everyone can afford to even get on from the SPCA - it's far cheaper than getting a pet from a breeder or the store, but still out of some people's price range (like me). Although getting a pet from the shelter is the best option - I see nothing wrong with adopting one before they end up there. It's 100% free, and how I got both my kitties. Just check the local classifieds, there's always listings for kittens and puppies free to good homes.

Also, if you can shell out the cash to save a shelter furbaby (and honestly, it's not that much, and it includes spaying/neutering as well as shots), think about getting an older pet! It's nothing short of a sin when an older dog or cat finds itself living our its last days in a shelter. I vow that the first time I pay for a pet at the shelter, it will be an older one.

There are people who say that shelter/free-to-good-home pets, a/k/a mutts, are harder to train or just not good enough. You find a sweeter, more loving, more hilarious, and smarter cat than my two, that you paid money for... I bet you can't. They didn't cost me a dime; I saved them both and they're both awesome.
Some things money can't buy.

And I hate to speak ill of any pet, but my parents bought a dog from a pet store. They had him about 2 years - and he was an untrainable NIGHTMARE. We actually had to take him to the shelter (yes, I was racked with guilt, I cried the whole ride there AND back).

 This summer, they adopted a beautiful, fluffy, part-every pretty dog that exists, 100% mutt puppy... he didn't cost a dime, and he is the Best. Dog. Ever. He's sweet and energetic and although still a bit of an unruly puppy, much better behaved than the dog they paid for.
Not to mention: LOOK AT HIM.

2 months.

4 months.
8 months.

Just think of those insanely depressing commercials they had of animal shelters that A&E insisted on playing nonstop... during the holidays... especially during my Criminal Minds marathons :(

Save an animal's life this year!

For the sake of length, I'mma cut this off here. New installment of 2011 rules next week? I believe so!


  1. lol Brett I'm, going out with some favs right nowwww but if I remember <3
    Ahaha, you're great.


* Anything intentionally antagonistic or misspelled to the point it would cause an educated person pain to look at will be deleted.