Completely random & unimportant things that irk me, VOL. 1.

I guess this would be considered my Second List, after my 3 Types of Movie Watchers (ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-checkitout).

Now, I know that everyone has BIG issues, like say... racism, or war, or religion, or abortion laws, or anything else that's a legit issue and controversial. For the sake of not needing to defend myself or argue with anyone, I'm not discussing that crap here. I'm focusing, right now, on the mundane things; the little annoyances that get under your skin, for no particular reason.

I could easily list off HUNDREDS of these trivialities. For everyone's sake - I won't : ). But to alleviate some of the pressure on my poor brain that these pesky, irsksome peeves causes me, I'll share a few.

In volumes, apparently... but just a short list for now, promise!

So, without further adieu, My Second List,

A Condensed Version of Things That Drive Me Bonkers, Vol. 1

[1] The Twilight Series

In theory, I have no real issue with this series***. Yes, its Twi-tards are RIDICULOUS, but so are many other cult-like fanbases (I'm still waiting for that Hogwarts letter, so I really can't judge). Vampires are cool. So are werewolves, I guess. However - Bella Swan, not so much. Now, I'm not nuts, so I'm not all, "OMGGGggGgg WUT A BITCH SHE DUZNT DESERVE EDwAArDdDD Or JAcOB!!! i haTE HER!!!" (yes, there are some people that hate the character based on the fact that two FICTIONAL (and teenaged) characters are after her, what has the world come to?). My problem is that, well, she is pathetic. Sure, a lot of girls are. I am, a lot of the time. But like... no 18-year-old girl is mature enough to decide that her whole life depends on one sparkly, blood-sucking moron. Basically everything she says and does makes me want to punch her in the face. She thinks she's too young to get married, but she's not too young to make a life-altering (and suspending, I guess, since the whole immortal thing) decision to become a vampire. Because duh, she's known this guy for like 2 years, so obviously she wants to spend eternity with him.

Are you kidding me?

It just drives me nuts that people EAT THIS SHIT UP. They fucking LOVE IT. The only book I read in the series was the first one, and the writing was piss-poor, soap-opera caliber garbage. I've read plenty of bad books; what bothers me about these is that people defend Stephanie Meyer, citing, "It was her first novel! She's a first-time writer!" I've had like, middle-aged women attempt to use this argument against me.

Well, I have a name for you: JK Rowling.
And therefore, a book: Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone.

First-time writer. First-time novel.
Not even remotely sucky.*

*Note: You can say all you want about the Harry Potter series itself, but content aside, the actual writing is what I'm using as an example; it is far, far superior to that of the Twilight series, and unless you've read books of both, you can't argue that. Thanks.

***I have so much to say because I have seen all the movies. The boyfriend and I find them entertaining, mainly in a so-bad-it's-good-way. I'm not a closet Twlight fan.

I shall rest on this one now, I get angry just typing about it!

The rest will be FAR briefer!



[2] Hey, do you guys have...?

This question is ALWAYS completed with the title of a movie that has JUST been released in theatres. "No, it was released IN THEATRES LAST FRIDAY." "Oh, but I saw a commercial for it on TV." "Yes, but that's because it's new. TO THEATRES." "Don't you guys get all the same movies?" "YES, when they're RELEASED ON DVD AND BLU-RAY SEVERAL MONTHS LATER." You have absolutely no idea how often this exchange takes place. It makes me want to bang my head off the counter.




[3] I "seen" that last week!

No. Noooo. NononononNONONONONONONONONO!!!! You SAW. SAW!!! You saw the movie. "I saw that before." Or, if you absolutely MUST use the word "seen". "I HAVE SEEN that movie before." *deepbreath* Where I live, damn near everyone says it. There is nothing that makes anyone sound any more uneducated and redneck than this phrase. It sends shivers up my spine.

On a similar note, there's the whole your =/= you are issue, however this is restricted to the written word, be it on Facebook, on paper, wherever. Yes, grammar (particularly in its written form) can be a gigantic pain in the ass. I can forgive the occasional written (or typed) slip. BUT YOU ARE SPEAKING. To quote Samuel L. Jackson in 1994's Pulp Fiction, "ENGLISH, MOTHERFUCKER, DO YOU SPEAK IT?" *headdesk*


***

I'm actually going to conclude volume one now, as I rambled far too long about Twilight (did I mention that neither of the lead men are good people (wolves, vampires, whatever the hell they are? I could go on...). So that's it, for now... what bugs you? (Please don't say terrorism. Keep it light, homies).