Now, my store is the only one on my island that rents ADULT MATERIAL. Yeah, we call it ADULT, ADULT product, etc. What that means, boys and girls, is PORN. There are stores that SELL such "materials" around here, but if you just want it for two days, my store is the only place to get it. And it's popular. And it's renters are exactly what you think: middle-aged and old men.
I'm not saying this is the only demographic of people who watch porn; far from it. The difference is, all the younger men (and women) know about this li'l thing called the internet, where you can find such films a) for free and b) without anyone knowing. Once the older generations die off and the younger, more tech-savvy remain, porn rentals (and really all rentals, video stores are on their deathbed) will die off as well.
But until then, we prosper.
I do not judge people who watch or rent porn. Not in the least. However, I do judge the people who won't man up and rent porn, and instead think they're tricking us by renting movies such as:
- Showgirls
- Bliss (it's a TV series that's essentially softcore)
- In the Cut
- The Dreamers
- Hotel Erotica
- Wild Things
- Any filthy, low-budget sex comedy that is about 95% sex and 2% comedy (and 3% terrible "acting")
- and Any Movie Famous For A Sex Scene (or Several), e.g. Basic Instinct.
Now, your little ruse may work on some people, but I know movies. They are my love, my passion, and I have researched every genre and sub-genre ruthlessly, and I know an erotic thriller when I see one. I've seen many of these movies myself; the difference is, I rent them along with other movies. Or, I admit that I'm in the mood for something trashy and fun. I do not rent them in replacement of porn.
Listen, fellas, I don't know who you're trying to kid. I know what you're doing when you're watching these suedo-skin flicks (ew, try not to picture it *gag*). You think there's something wrong, or sad, or embarrassing by renting actual adult films? There isn't. I'm not judging you. However, the only reason I even felt compelled to write this was because of one encounter I had recently.
Dude: No problem, which movie.
Me: The Boys and Girls Guide to Getting Down (a/k/a a "drama" that's full of sex, but doesn't have a misleading title, and actually sounds like a porn).
Dude: WHAT!? I would never rent one of those movies! I don't watch pornography!!
Me: No, it's a drama.
Dude: Oh, okay.
Me: So Showgirls and Bliss will be due back next week...
To sum it all up, get over yourself, you're no better than the people who watch ACTUAL adult movies, and you're not fooling anyone.
Who needs to rent porn? Its called the electronic porn network Brittani. Codename: Internet
ReplyDeleteDeveloped by the United States Military during the 70's to help manage the largely male militant forces in Vietnam and to distract people from disco.
I'd go further indepth but my EPN connection is being kind of fucky
ReplyDeletealso I did not read the entire post before alerting you about the EPN
ReplyDeleteI mentioned that once these old men die out, the internet will be the only source of porn. I totally agree. LOL and lovely idea that it was a distraction from disco. But yeah, the people who rent from me are either a) old as fuck or b) people who never quite got a grip on the interwebs (my mom is not a pr0n-loving housewife, but an example of someone who is not old, but does not understand anything about computers, beyond playing solitaire.
ReplyDeleteSee, I know - ripped from my above post:
"I'm not saying this is the only demographic of people who watch porn; far from it. The difference is, all the younger men (and women) know about this li'l thing called the internet, where you can find such films a) for free and b) without anyone knowing. Once the older generations die off and the younger, more tech-savvy remain, porn rentals (and really all rentals, video stores are on their deathbed) will die off as well."
I did not read your most recent comment before replying with my own. lol
ReplyDelete